dappledleaves | meme for pocky /high school AU meme

...me too. [ He holds Oria close, soaking up his warmth]

You know, I missed you like crazy when you got sent here.

[ Sinclair's parents had adamantly refused to put Sinclair in boarding school, even though he had wanted to follow Oria for some time. He had argued, but had been shut down without question. It had been unfair, or so Sinclair had thought at the time. He had wanted to be with his best friend, his parents just thought he would be too fragile for the type of person boarding schools tended to create]

I missed you too. I remember earlier on when I first came here, I thought it was so boring here without you... but it's not like we never saw each other. I still went back home often and I would go visit you like... every few months.

[ But it's nice, hearing that he missed him. ]

Mm. Those times were great but it wasn't really the same.

[ Significantly less late night calls, talking about nothing in particular...it felt like he had been missing out on a lot.]

It was nice though, knowing you had a friend in Cethin.

[There's genuine warmth there, not even an ounce of jealousy when it came to Cethin. Friends were important ]

I did! I roomed with him before in my first year here. He's a lot neater than one would expect.

[ Cethin is a scruffy guy. Definitely tsun. He and Oria are actually a lot alike, except one is sentimental and the other is Oria. ]

I hung out with his brother too. I think he's a teacher somewhere... I beat him in bowling.

[ heh ]

[Cethin...neat...Sinclair can't quite compute but he thinks it makes sense. Sinclair huffs a little with amusement]

That's what you remember about people?

[Oria, you have a bowling alley under your home??]

I remember a lot of things about people! Well, everything important at the time anyway. But it's nice, because like...

[ His voice drifts off a little. Perhaps from headache or sleepiness. ]

He's one of the few adults who I actually like being around. He's literally a decade older than Cethin.

Yeah? [Sinclair makes a little prompting noise, to get Oria to keep talking. It's nice. Despite his anxieties that Oria would forget about him once he had gone off to boarding school, that had never happened. He likes hearing about the people Oria spent positive time with] More like Beatrice then?

[Beatrice was eight years older than them both after all]

Yeah. I miss hanging out with her too. I wanna catch up with her in person one day.

[ Hopefully she won't bail on them again!!! The old times were nice, and really, the only reason why he occasionally looked back was because of Sinclair. He gave him a reason to enjoy the past for what it was—giving him the value of preserving those memories. ]

Mm. I hope next time she can stay home for longer. [He's a little wistful. Ever since their parents died...Beatrice had been working herself to the bone to clean up any loose ends and finalise the projects their father had been working on. It was a mess]

[ Oria feels for her, quietly sighing and burying his face into Sinclair again, wherever he can reach. ]

I hope she can get that rest soon...

[Sinclair blinks, feeling Oria's nose against his neck and tries not to squirm. That...tickles?]

She will. [Sinclair believed in that. But that's why he had been working hard on his own studies too. He couldn't leave everything just to her while he ran off and chased his own dreams] Soon.

[ Oria wishes his family could do something. While they could offer monetary assistance, they can't really do much else. Everything else would have to be done by the Sinclair family. ]

Did you talk to her about it...?

I did. But she keeps brushing me off. [It's annoying. He huffs a little and plants his face against Oria's hair, ruffling the ends of it to soothe himself] She says I should ignore all of that and focus on what I want to do.

[More than anyone, Beatrice and Oria were aware of the quiet family pressures that existed, even if it was a loving family. That's what the Sinclair parents had been like; loving and supportive, but with firm aspirations and expectations for each of their kids. Beatrice had wanted Sinclair to do his own thing, but...]

... It sounds like she just wants you to be happy, Emil.

[ Especially if Sinclair didn't like what he was doing beforehand. ]

You don't have to turn a blind eye, but helping her with small things would probably make her day. Like... sending her a text, or with a photo of what you found that day. If you give her something to look forward to, I'm sure she won't be burned out as quickly.

I know she does, but...

[It was hard. But he takes Oria's next words seriously, turning them over in his head]

...you really think it'd help?

[His voice is a little muffled, uncertain. He had been trying hard not to make Beatrice worry, especially since the school transfer was because Beatrice had seen what was happening to Sinclair and worried]

Yeah. I'm sure she'd love to see you have fun... and be happy... that's why she's working so hard.

[ ... ]

Besides, I hope she won't have to worry too much about you. I'm here, after all.

I was suppose to take more pictures for her.

[But sometimes he hesitated, feeling like it wasn't right. He still sent messages of course, the photo when prompted, but it hadn't been of his own volition. Hm. Sinclair nods, burying his face against Oria's hair a little more, his lips brushing across his temple almost like a kiss.

It's not on purpose, more like an accident of movement.]

You are. I'm so glad for that.

[So very thankful. This is what he meant that Oria felt like 'home'. ]

You've always known me best.

Edited 2023-12-16 20:55 (UTC)

I try my best.

[ He thought that was a kiss to his head, but then grumbles a little when he finds out that it isn't. How much longer does he have to hide his feelings? It's all a very self-imposed restriction, but he still feels like he should wait.

Even though Sinclair is so warm when next to him like this.

Even though... ]

I hate having to hide all the time...

[Sinclair is still blushing from it, and he's glad Oria can't see his face. He...wanted it to be a proper kiss. But would that be okay? Even though they're tangled up together like this, is that a line he shouldn't be crossing...? He nuzzles a little more]

You don't have to hide when you're with me. [He wrestles with his feelings for a moment, torn by uncertainty. But this time when he presses his lips to Oria's forehead, it's with a tiny bit more purpose. It's a thank you. It's a silent promise.]

I'll always support you no matter what.

[ It seems like a guarantee. Sinclair is one of the sincerest people he knows, and yet, he's still afraid. There shouldn't be anything to be scared of, but Oria knows that it's irrational. Logic and reasoning don't work out when there are emotions thrown into the mix, after all. His headache is getting to be really annoying.

Today is really just a day for Oria's vulnerabilities strewn about in front of Sinclair. ]

I know I shouldn't.

[ Sinclair smells like the rain. Just a little. ]

[Sinclair gives Oria a little reassuring squeeze, one hand rubbing over his back. It's warm. Secure. Softly]

You've always been holding so many things back. Even with me. [How could he not notice? It had been crystal clear once he joined Oria at this school, how often he put on a certain face, then avoided showing others...]

So...when you're ready, you can tell me what you want me to hear.

[ He really wants to mention that he only wants to say when Sinclair feels ready, because that's what he thinks this is. The other part being, well, his other secret. That, he feels like he needs to prepare himself for. ]

You're always so patient with me. Thanks.

[ Is it really something to be thanked for? Sinclair isn't sure, but he wont reject Oria's acceptance of that either. His hand drifts up, gently massaging the back of Oria's scalp. He hopes that can help soothe some of Oria's headache]

Mm. Of course. You're my closest friend. And...[Oria deserved no less after all. And maybe soon, he'll be able to say what's really on his mind, in a way that was easy to understand.]

[ Ugh. He buries his face into Sinclair's hoodie even more. He feels happy, yet so... empty. Sad. ]

And...?

I--[ The words get stuck in his throat a little. Isn't he just taking advantage right now? Every other time, he had let Oria divert him, push things in a certain way. But now that Oria wasn't feeling well and was holding him like he hadn't since they were kids...

But if he doesn't say it now--

He presses as closer as he can, his voice dropping a little]

...I love you. A lot. So...

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