dappledleaves | CICONIA: WHEN THEY CRY

[ ...

Oria takes his own fork to steal one of Sinclair's fries. Not because of him wanting those fries, but to get Sinclair's attention. Don't give your fries attention!! ]

Do you think you are? I think you're just as human as the rest of us.

[Ah...he had offered but that's rude!! He looks up]

...I like to think I am. Human, I mean. But it was hard, when they kept telling me otherwise.

Edited 2024-10-29 22:54 (UTC)

Not back then. What do you think now?

[ Certainly, ever since being selected for the Striking Badgers kette, the two Severine siblings cared for Sinclair in their own way--comforting him, slowly(? cannot be defined for oria's way of thinking) drawing him out of his shell, and creating memories together. Those days were nice, and Oria thinks so too... but he's not the type to dwell on the past.

...

At least that's what he tells himself. ]

[Thank goodness for the gloves now because Sinclair can only twist his fingers together nervously]

I'm human. I'm...not broken or anything else they've said or I wouldn't be able to be here with you. [There's the unspoken 'and Aria' that lingers, a shadow that haunts them both]

...Aria reminded me of that too.

[ He pauses and holds his hands out across the table toward Sinclair with his palms up. It's an invitation to hold his hands. ]

[...ah. He reaches out to hold Oria's hands, clinging a little]

...this is real, right?

[The happiness, and grief and everything that lay in between]

[ Even with Sinclair's gloves, Oria holds his hands tight. ]

It's real. We're real, right here in this eatery known for their burgers and pancakes, holding hands. I'm real and you're real. So are our emotions.

[ He speaks in a volume that's quieter than usual—soft and his attempts to comfort the person he likes, but most importantly, his best friend. ]

I think we're all a little broken, really. It's okay if you're not perfect. I'm not either. Neither was Aria. Humans... can break too. But you're still here, with me.

[ He laces their fingers together, gloves or not. ]

And I think that counts for something.

[Oh. Sinclair colours a little, and it feels like he can feel the warmth of Oria's hands seeping through his gloves too.]

...yeah. I'm glad you're with me still.

[Still. Even if nothing is okay anymore, and nothing has felt really correct since Aria died...they still had this, fragile and strong all at once]

This is important to me too.

Yeah? I feel the same.

[ Oria smiles, but then it starts to gradually look strained. He's probably fighting with Keropoyo about spontaneously turning on inappropriate background music for the current atmosphere. BITCH. HE'LL FIGHT YOU. ]

[ Ahahaha...Sinclair pushes over more of his parfait for Oria to take. Sugar helps]

Is Keropoyo doing something weird again? You should be able to turn him off.

[ Oria sighs and withdraws his hands, taking some of that parfait with a spoon on the way. ]

When I get my hands on your uninstallation key again...

[ Sfupid frog!! ]

Maybe I should live like the older generation and just have it off most of the time.

It's actually pretty soothing sometimes, not having the selcom on. It's nice only having your own thoughts.

[ He's definitely lucky yeah. Despite bad directions...]

[ Admittedly, Oria only turns it off when told or when he's in a foul mood and not feeling up to talking to anybody. Other than that, it's always on. Even with Keropoyo being constantly in his mind, he's never really thought of it as a companion, but more like an annoying fly that he wishes to swat from time to time. Still, he can't deny the usefulness of such an AI. ]

Yeah?

[ But he doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He also doesn't want to admit that it feels really lonely. He needs to keep himself busy. Talk to other people. Read books about current issues. Look into Aria's death. Train with his Gauntlet. Play some games.

Just.

Do something. ]

Sometimes I forget to turn it off before sleeping, so I get woken up by a random notification in the middle of the night.

Mm...like, if I know I'm with someone or it's somewhere I feel safe, then I don't need it.

[ Sinclair, who had spent years being touched and had his brain and body strewn apart for the sake of something he couldn't fathom...it was its own peace to not be distracted by what was in his head]

Or like, when we're watching or playing something old fashioned on a screen, I like doing that together with people...I don't think I need the selcom then.

[ The loneliest days are different.]

It's nice to have company when I'm by myself but--oh.

[ concern]

I hope I never ended up waking you up.

[ Oria thinks about how they were playing games in the retro arcade. He always wants to stay connected in some way, just in case. It's like having your phone on all the time.

But seeing Sinclair explain makes Oria feel fond for him. ]

I said random notifs, not yours. Yours are always fine!

[ He will welcome a call or a message or anything sent by Sinclair. ]

[oh...Sinclair feels warm again ]

... then, um. Even so I hope you don't wake up too often.

I'll be there for you whenever I can. Just call for me.

[ Sinclair is his best friend. He can't lose him. He's heard of terrible things about Geroy and the fact that Sinclair goes there and is treated like equipment like the two in Grave Mole... he doesn't like it.

He thinks that, but he still has no idea of the extent of the experimenting that goes on behind closed doors, much less of what happens to Sinclair each and every time.

Oria can't lose any more people. He doesn't want to. Sometimes he has nightmares of the moment before Aria died, exploding into bits in front of his eyes. ]

You can wake me whenever you want.

Yeah? [ He can't say much about what happens to the two in Grave Mole...he knows they suffer too but he doesn't even know what happens to them.

But sometimes it feels like there's very little he's allowed to hold close. He doesn't want to lose Oria too]

... you're always so reliable. Thank you, Oria.

Of course I wanna be reliable! We're friends! You're my best friend, even. You've always been important to me.

[ Always. Always, always, always, always, always— ]

[ Ah...he really wants to hug Oria now even though Oria doesn't like hugs and some days Sinclair can't handle them either.]

...you too. I can't imagine anything without you anymore.

[ Oria isn't sure how to feel about that... Should he be happy that Sinclair deems him just as important? Yes. Oria is still used to pressure in this verse, but it's a different kind of pressure. Gauntlet Knights were just treated like e-sports, but he knows that one day, they'll be used for actual government military things, should the times call for it. Instead of banning military altogether, all the nations decided to strengthen them.

This surely won't backfire on everyone later! ]

If you say it like that, I'll think you're proposing to me!

[ There's something to be said about the notion of a "Healthy Military Balance" being the driving force of their world. And sometimes, it bothered Sinclair.

Yet here he was, a gauntlet knight. It'd be fine. It's not like any of them really wanted to fight. He reddens, pouting. He was being earnest and here Oria was again--]

What...? D-Don't kid around like that.

Hey, I wasn't the one who said it like that.

[ Sinclair being earnest is what made Oria appreciate him in the first place, so he accepts it. It's just...

...

He reaches out to take some more fries. ]

[Still a little pouty]

Sometimes it feels like a lot of things I say come across as weird when you say it like that.

[THIS MORNING EVEN]

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