insinning: (Default)
Emil Sinclair 🐣 ([personal profile] insinning) wrote in [community profile] dappledleaves2023-12-06 12:16 pm

THE WORLD: PSL LIFE

[Here be all the psl threads]
dissimulative: (pic#15273322)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-30 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
It feels nice to know that at least one person wants me to take it slow.

[ Oria laughs a little and nuzzles into the side of Sinclair's head. ]

But still... I want to get better as soon as possible.
dissimulative: (pic#15273324)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-30 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
That's starting to sound like a luxury even I can't afford...

[ Look, a joke. Still. Oria appreciates Sinclair so much. ]

I'm still grateful that you're here. You've always supported me in so many ways. When you keep saying things like that...

[ He's been at a loss of words more often than not lately, but with his free hand, he turns and holds onto Sinclair's shoulder to give him a kiss. ]
dissimulative: (pic#16653661)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-30 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ In his life, Oria was given so many things. Sure, they weren't the things he needed, but he couldn't take them for granted. It feels even more pronounced now, when he feels like he lost something important, but can't figure out what it is. Regardless, the feeling of loss continues to haunt his thoughts. He's accepted that his father had passed away, but how he died still doesn't feel real. He feels like he can still feel the occasional shocks from the collar that doesn't exist and it becomes hard to breathe.

Sinclair's hand over his cheek is the only thing that keeps him grounded at the moment.
]

Everything, huh...

[ He could ask Sinclair of anything reasonable. Oria wants to stop thinking, because that, too, feels terrible. He can't just bury these feelings and have Sinclair help him do that. It's unfair to him, and Oria doesn't want to taint it with his own trauma. ]
dissimulative: (pic#16653653)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-30 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oria can feel the love through Sinclair's actions. When their foreheads touch, he wants to believe that thr pain will stop. When he feels Sinclair's thumb over his cheek, he wants to believe that he will no longer be plagued by the memories of killing a member of his own precious family.

Sinclair will feel a wetness on his thumb that isn't from the pool. The mental pressure had become too much and finally breaks the focus of holding his tears back. He quietly cries, letting the occasional tear fall down his face and he doesn't make a sound. Sinclair's love and care felt so overwhelming in a positive way that he feels that he just has to cry.
]
dissimulative: (pic#16653659)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-30 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Oria knows that Sinclair would want him to have time to grieve, so crying would be okay too. He rests his forehead on Sinclair's shoulder as he continues to quietly cry. Sometimes the tears fall on his glasses. Sometimes they fall into the pool. It's really the first time he's been allowed to grieve and cry in front of someone in real life. And that person won't push him away.

The love and reassurance feels like it would break him, but if it allows him to be reconstructed in a way that feels less pain, he'd be fine with that. He would be fine to be broken by love and support.
]

Thank you, Emil...

[ His voice almost cracks, a wail nearly escaping his throat. ]

Thanks for being by my side.
dissimulative: (pic#15281040)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah...

[ Oria quietly breathes out. It's always so easy to believe in Sinclair. He's proved to him and others that he's always sincere. He can always be trusted. ]

You're so romantic, Emil. But even without that sort of thing, you always move my heart.

[ His cold heart. ]
dissimulative: (pic#15281035)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
I know. You're a natural. That's why your words are always moving to hear. You get your feelings across very well and I never want to take that away from you.

[ He tightly holds onto his hand. Even though Oria has his own things to worry about, he wonders how Sinclair felt ever since Kromer died, but he can't bring it up. The words die out in his throat before they can leave. He wanted to kill Kromer for so long. ]
dissimulative: (pic#15273347)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ If Oria knew, he would know that it's the reason why that Sinclair is still kindhearted. Not feeling satisfied about the death of someone you long since hated is normal. However, if Oria didn't have all this trauma bogging him down, he would have been pretty happy at Kromer carking it, because then he'd know that she'd never torture Sinclair again. And that's enough happiness to be derived from someone's death for him. ]

Good. If it wasn't, I would have to try harder. I want to be worthy of your trust.
dissimulative: (pic#15273324)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
I hope you know that it's the same for me.

[ There is no one else in the world that he trusts more than Sinclair. Oria still has the rest of his family, but if it's still about trust, Sinclair still takes the cake by far. ]
dissimulative: (pic#16653644)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oria returns the kiss, sweet and gentle, as he smiles a little when their lips are together. ]

My love for you runs so deeply...

[ He whispers under his breath and kisses him again. ]
dissimulative: (pic#15294092)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
I love you too... so, so much.

[ He wishes Sinclair could stay with him forever, but that's not something he can do. That's why he has to take advantage of the time he has now. ]

Can you come to my room some time after dinner? I want to show you something.
dissimulative: (pic#15269577)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)
No?

[ Oria laughs. He's definitely not making this a prison for him. ]

You're allowed to freely move around the house. Just tell someone if you're leaving the property.
dissimulative: (pic#15269511)

[personal profile] dissimulative 2023-12-31 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Sure, whatever you want.

[ He doesn't have to, but Oria will make a note. ]

Are you gonna make something?

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