CICONIA: WHEN THEY CRY

[insinning]

It's a holy night. Silent night.

All is calm.

Everything is b r i g h t.

Comments

[insinning]

Yeah. It seemed like a nice place by the way people talked about it. I thought it'd be nice if we could go together.

[ Research for friends outings!! not that Sinclair can leave without strict restrictions being met but... sometimes he likes to imagine and prepare for that]

[dissimulative]

[ Sinclair is extremely endearing, Oria thinks. This makes me so sad... lonely sinclair... ]

It's comfortable here and the food is awesome. You definitely picked right, so thanks!

[insinning]

[Sinclair blushes a little, pleased and tried to hide that behind his burger]

Mm... I'm glad. You should help me with the chips though. I might have ordered too much.

[dissimulative]

Gladly.

[ Sinclair is so cute... Oria keeps that thought to himself. ]

Only after you feel full though.

[ He doesn't want to take away Sinclair's food otherwise. Boy... you need to eat. ]

It would be nice if we could do this every day.

[insinning]

...me too. [ There's a wistful note to Sinclair's voice. It's nice to fulfil one of his daydreams. The Public Order of the Bath just isn't the same.]

I'm lucky. I fulfilled my conditions this month at least even though I lost my temper at teacher...

[small hard won freedoms. And Sinclair eats dutifully!! But he likes sharing food and experiences...]

[dissimulative]

Hm? What conditions?

[ He tilts his head. Sinclair? What's that?

And yeah, the Public Bath order really isn't the same at all. ]

[insinning]

Mm...avoid any marks against my behaviour record, complete any tasks assigned to me, that sort of thing.

[ And put up with...certain things. It's hard okay]

[dissimulative]

Why are they so strict on you... Are they really doing that comparison thing?

[ "Why can't you be more like x" etc ]

[insinning]

I mean...[ Aria knew why but] ...I guess it's because I'm not really under the military like you. So I have to prove their training works. Or something.

[dissimulative]

[ ...

Oria frowns as he quietly takes a sip of his beverage. ]

Geroy?

[insinning]

...yeah. Because I'm 'broken'.

[He pushes his fries around with his fork. Hah.]

[dissimulative]

[ ...

Oria takes his own fork to steal one of Sinclair's fries. Not because of him wanting those fries, but to get Sinclair's attention. Don't give your fries attention!! ]

Do you think you are? I think you're just as human as the rest of us.

[insinning]

[Ah...he had offered but that's rude!! He looks up]

...I like to think I am. Human, I mean. But it was hard, when they kept telling me otherwise.

[dissimulative]

Not back then. What do you think now?

[ Certainly, ever since being selected for the Striking Badgers kette, the two Severine siblings cared for Sinclair in their own way--comforting him, slowly(? cannot be defined for oria's way of thinking) drawing him out of his shell, and creating memories together. Those days were nice, and Oria thinks so too... but he's not the type to dwell on the past.

...

At least that's what he tells himself. ]

[insinning]

[Thank goodness for the gloves now because Sinclair can only twist his fingers together nervously]

I'm human. I'm...not broken or anything else they've said or I wouldn't be able to be here with you. [There's the unspoken 'and Aria' that lingers, a shadow that haunts them both]

...Aria reminded me of that too.

[dissimulative]

[ He pauses and holds his hands out across the table toward Sinclair with his palms up. It's an invitation to hold his hands. ]

[insinning]

[...ah. He reaches out to hold Oria's hands, clinging a little]

...this is real, right?

[The happiness, and grief and everything that lay in between]

[dissimulative]

[ Even with Sinclair's gloves, Oria holds his hands tight. ]

It's real. We're real, right here in this eatery known for their burgers and pancakes, holding hands. I'm real and you're real. So are our emotions.

[ He speaks in a volume that's quieter than usual—soft and his attempts to comfort the person he likes, but most importantly, his best friend. ]

I think we're all a little broken, really. It's okay if you're not perfect. I'm not either. Neither was Aria. Humans... can break too. But you're still here, with me.

[ He laces their fingers together, gloves or not. ]

And I think that counts for something.

[insinning]

[Oh. Sinclair colours a little, and it feels like he can feel the warmth of Oria's hands seeping through his gloves too.]

...yeah. I'm glad you're with me still.

[Still. Even if nothing is okay anymore, and nothing has felt really correct since Aria died...they still had this, fragile and strong all at once]

This is important to me too.

[dissimulative]

Yeah? I feel the same.

[ Oria smiles, but then it starts to gradually look strained. He's probably fighting with Keropoyo about spontaneously turning on inappropriate background music for the current atmosphere. BITCH. HE'LL FIGHT YOU. ]

[insinning]

[ Ahahaha...Sinclair pushes over more of his parfait for Oria to take. Sugar helps]

Is Keropoyo doing something weird again? You should be able to turn him off.

[dissimulative]

[ Oria sighs and withdraws his hands, taking some of that parfait with a spoon on the way. ]

When I get my hands on your uninstallation key again...

[ Sfupid frog!! ]

Maybe I should live like the older generation and just have it off most of the time.

[insinning]

It's actually pretty soothing sometimes, not having the selcom on. It's nice only having your own thoughts.

[ He's definitely lucky yeah. Despite bad directions...]

[dissimulative]

[ Admittedly, Oria only turns it off when told or when he's in a foul mood and not feeling up to talking to anybody. Other than that, it's always on. Even with Keropoyo being constantly in his mind, he's never really thought of it as a companion, but more like an annoying fly that he wishes to swat from time to time. Still, he can't deny the usefulness of such an AI. ]

Yeah?

[ But he doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He also doesn't want to admit that it feels really lonely. He needs to keep himself busy. Talk to other people. Read books about current issues. Look into Aria's death. Train with his Gauntlet. Play some games.

Just.

Do something. ]

Sometimes I forget to turn it off before sleeping, so I get woken up by a random notification in the middle of the night.

1/2

[insinning]

Mm...like, if I know I'm with someone or it's somewhere I feel safe, then I don't need it.

[ Sinclair, who had spent years being touched and had his brain and body strewn apart for the sake of something he couldn't fathom...it was its own peace to not be distracted by what was in his head]

Or like, when we're watching or playing something old fashioned on a screen, I like doing that together with people...I don't think I need the selcom then.

[ The loneliest days are different.]