dappledleaves | THE WORLD: PSL LIFE

Hm, I usually skate over to San Francisco, since it's the closest urban-like environment here that isn't just houses and standalone company buildings.

[ Lots of city area to explore. It's always been fun, but there seems to be a certain wistfulness in the way his expression carries itself, especially as Oria looks ahead beyond the pool. Needless to say, he misses doing that a lot.

He won't be able to, now that he'll be entering university very soon and after attending his father's funeral after being released from the hospital, the reality that sunk in only pressed its burden onto his shoulders more. The funeral was extremely small, only open to the immediate family. Of course, his father had a will. The entire family does. The business is currently in Oria's mother's possession, but the situation of acquiring the business is still the same. That's the way it's always been. That's what Oria always fought for, sunk his nails into the position that he's worked all life to obtain.

The thoughts make him breathe out shakily, but quiet. Of course, Sinclair would be able to hear it--he's right next to him. Oria's thoughts wander. It's never "what do I do now", but rather "when will I ever be done". ]

Cramped cities are the best to do it in, but I have to pick a good spot. Otherwise, I'd be running into people all the time.

[ Sinclair hears that note in Oria's voice, that shaky exhale of exhaustion. He bites his lip and hugs Oria's arm a little, since they're already pressed close together,
shoulder to thigh.

He knows how much Oria is carrying. He twines their fingers together]

Mm. I can't imagine most people would be happy to have a teenager drop down on them from the sky.

[ a pause, thinking]

...I know this abandoned factory complex with a lot of old heavy machinery and structures that have been left behind. I used to get dragged there to get training. I'd have to run from paintball guns and people.

[Train reflexes and things. Thinking back...he collected so many bruises]

It was an interesting place now that I think about it. It's probably good for parkour too.

... That sounds like a secret training place.

[ Oria laughs a little, tightening the hold on his hand, enjoying their laced fingers. ]

That said, it sounds like the perfect place to play manhunt.

[Sinclair grins, rubbing his thumb over the back of Oria's hand]

When you're feeling up for it, do you want to go? It's actually here in California.

Edited 2023-12-29 23:37 (UTC)

Is it? I don't want to feel like intruding in a place where you guys do that sort of thing.

[ It definitely feels like intrusion to Oria. Moreover... ]

I can't even do the thing I wanna do when I get there anyway. An abandoned warehouse-like place... what a dream.

What you want to do?

[Sinclair shakes his head]

It's fine. It's for training, but kind of a place we get dropped off in whenever they think we're slacking off. Some of the structures are pretty tall too.

[If you took control if it, sniping was possible...]

If it's really a good of a place as you say it is, then I'd wanna try parkour around it.

[ ... ]

Also, Manhunt is boring with only two people.

[Sinclair laughs. He did bring it up for a reason after all]

Mm. We can do that then...at least, I could just watch you.

[A pause, thinking]

...I don't have many good experiences playing manhunt anyway.

I bet you got bullied.

[ Sinclair mentioned paintball, after all... ]

I can't really do that stuff as I am right now though.

[ He looks at his legs that are still submerged underwater. ]

Pretty much...[Ughhh. Sinclair looks at Oria's legs too, assessing them thoughtfully. It's not like the muscles atrophied that much within one week, but...he gets it. It took a long time before he wanted to get out of bed. For Oria...]

Mm. When you feel up to it again. Take it slow.

It feels nice to know that at least one person wants me to take it slow.

[ Oria laughs a little and nuzzles into the side of Sinclair's head. ]

But still... I want to get better as soon as possible.

I know. [Sinclair tilts his head to kiss Oria's cheek gently] But I think it's better sometimes to take it bit by bit, instead of trying to rush things, and getting more hurt.

That's starting to sound like a luxury even I can't afford...

[ Look, a joke. Still. Oria appreciates Sinclair so much. ]

I'm still grateful that you're here. You've always supported me in so many ways. When you keep saying things like that...

[ He's been at a loss of words more often than not lately, but with his free hand, he turns and holds onto Sinclair's shoulder to give him a kiss. ]

I want you to have it, everything--

[He thinks...Oria has more than enough people pushing him, demanding things out of him, including Oria himself. Sinclair kisses Oria back gently, slowly, reaching up with his free hand to cup Oria's cheek. If there's one thing he wants to give Oria, it's time]

[ In his life, Oria was given so many things. Sure, they weren't the things he needed, but he couldn't take them for granted. It feels even more pronounced now, when he feels like he lost something important, but can't figure out what it is. Regardless, the feeling of loss continues to haunt his thoughts. He's accepted that his father had passed away, but how he died still doesn't feel real. He feels like he can still feel the occasional shocks from the collar that doesn't exist and it becomes hard to breathe.

Sinclair's hand over his cheek is the only thing that keeps him grounded at the moment. ]

Everything, huh...

[ He could ask Sinclair of anything reasonable. Oria wants to stop thinking, because that, too, feels terrible. He can't just bury these feelings and have Sinclair help him do that. It's unfair to him, and Oria doesn't want to taint it with his own trauma. ]

[Sinclair nods, and presses their foreheads together, eyes fluttering half shut. The pain Oria had gone through was unimaginable. His hand continues to cup Oria's cheek, rubbing his thumb over it slowly]

Love. Time...safety...everything.

[The pain Oria was going through was unimaginable. And destroying Sarabi wouldn't salve any wounds or provide justice. He knew that the moment he stood over Kromer's corpse and felt empty; it would have been the same for Oria. But still, Sinclair wanted to be here. It wasn't okay. And Oria deserved time, space to grieve with the people who loved him]

[ Oria can feel the love through Sinclair's actions. When their foreheads touch, he wants to believe that thr pain will stop. When he feels Sinclair's thumb over his cheek, he wants to believe that he will no longer be plagued by the memories of killing a member of his own precious family.

Sinclair will feel a wetness on his thumb that isn't from the pool. The mental pressure had become too much and finally breaks the focus of holding his tears back. He quietly cries, letting the occasional tear fall down his face and he doesn't make a sound. Sinclair's love and care felt so overwhelming in a positive way that he feels that he just has to cry. ]

[Sinclair brushes Oria's tears away gently, and then pulls him into a proper hug, warm and firm, gently guiding Oria down to rest against his shoulder. He's here. He'll fight tooth and nail for the right to be by Oria's side, he thinks. There's nothing he can say. Nor does he want Oria to shut the dam on his grief again. So he holds Oria close without a word, rubbing a hand gently over Oria's hair. It was alright to cry]

[ Oria knows that Sinclair would want him to have time to grieve, so crying would be okay too. He rests his forehead on Sinclair's shoulder as he continues to quietly cry. Sometimes the tears fall on his glasses. Sometimes they fall into the pool. It's really the first time he's been allowed to grieve and cry in front of someone in real life. And that person won't push him away.

The love and reassurance feels like it would break him, but if it allows him to be reconstructed in a way that feels less pain, he'd be fine with that. He would be fine to be broken by love and support. ]

Thank you, Emil...

[ His voice almost cracks, a wail nearly escaping his throat. ]

Thanks for being by my side.

[ The world was not fair or just. But he can at least make it kinder for Oria. He tightens his hug, still gentle despite the firmness]

I'll always be here. I'll find my way to you no matter what.

[ He presses a kiss the side of Oria's head. Whether it was a need or a want]

Nothing will change that.

Yeah...

[ Oria quietly breathes out. It's always so easy to believe in Sinclair. He's proved to him and others that he's always sincere. He can always be trusted. ]

You're so romantic, Emil. But even without that sort of thing, you always move my heart.

[ His cold heart. ]

Am I...? I wasn't thinking about that, just...I wanted you to be certain about everything I feel.

[Sinclair nuzzles at Oria's hair, smiling softly. He hadn't intended on being any sort of romantic, but...knowing he can reach Oria is a good feeling]

I know. You're a natural. That's why your words are always moving to hear. You get your feelings across very well and I never want to take that away from you.

[ He tightly holds onto his hand. Even though Oria has his own things to worry about, he wonders how Sinclair felt ever since Kromer died, but he can't bring it up. The words die out in his throat before they can leave. He wanted to kill Kromer for so long. ]

[Sinclair squeezes Oria in turn. He hasn't managed to really process his feelings with Kromer yet. Maybe it's because he's seen so much evil in between, the worst of humanity alongside the best of it...

It's complicated now.]

Mm. You've always made it easy for me to say what I want to say. [Without having to stress about holding back, about having to second-guess everything]

[ If Oria knew, he would know that it's the reason why that Sinclair is still kindhearted. Not feeling satisfied about the death of someone you long since hated is normal. However, if Oria didn't have all this trauma bogging him down, he would have been pretty happy at Kromer carking it, because then he'd know that she'd never torture Sinclair again. And that's enough happiness to be derived from someone's death for him. ]

Good. If it wasn't, I would have to try harder. I want to be worthy of your trust.

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