THE WORLD: PSL LIFE

[insinning]

[Here be all the psl threads]

Comments

[dissimulative]

[ Oria rubs his thumb over Sinclair's cheek just a little, since he can't do much in the driver's seat, even though the car is only moving so slowly, if at all. ]

Yeah, so... process it with me. You can tell me anything.

[insinning]

[ Sinclair presses a soft kiss to Oria's palm, exhaling softly]

Mm. You always make these things easy for me.

[dissimulative]

Yeah, so... if you ever wanna let it out, you can now. I'm right here to listen.

[ If Sinclair feels like talking about it right now anyway. They're stuck in traffic together for the foreseeable future. ]

[insinning]

[ Sinclair gives a tiny nod, squeezing at Oria's hand a little more tightly. His eyes feel hot ]

You know, I keep thinking I just want to run away somewhere with you. So we don't have to deal with any of this anymore...

[dissimulative]

[ Oria gives a momentary hand squeeze in return. It's okay to cry. It's always for others to cry. ]

Yeah? Where would you want to go? Maybe like the island where I hosted the reunion party? That was practically in the middle of nowhere.

[insinning]

Yeah. [ Sinclair wipes at his eyes, tangling their fingers together]

Something like that. It felt really free from everything.

[ Softly ]

...I was glad I was in the hospital during Christmas. They didn't play music in my room or try to decorate it to give me Christmas 'cheer'.

[dissimulative]

I'm glad that they didn't do that. They blasted it in mine because it was connected to everything... I was so ready to leave.

[ Oria laughs a little, trying to lighten the mood a little and trying to get Sinclair to talk more. ]

Was it peaceful during recovery?

[insinning]

I don't know how mine got to be so private honestly.

[ Sinclair laughs, his mood lightening a little]

It was... peaceful. It was confusing when I woke up though. It was so hard to move... honestly I panicked a bit too since it was empty. Turns out Mr. Gregor had stepped out for a smoke...

[dissimulative]

A smoke break, huh?

[ smh!! How dare he leave Sinclair by himself?? ]

But I'm glad your coworkers visited you during that time.

[ He's not sure if he should call them friends, but they seem to have a deep understanding of each other in a sense. ]

[insinning]

[Sinclair nods, leaning back into his seat]

Mm. I guess...we really do look out for each other. I was glad Michel was right. [ A shaky exhale] I was terrified Mithrun was correct and Kromer did get me...

[dissimulative]

I doubt Kromer would get to you when you were mostly at your company's dorm. The hospital would be after that. From what I've seen of them, if they just let them take you, it would hurt their pride, at the very least.

[ If not out of camaraderie, then out of personal stakes and values. Pride. Of course. ]

[insinning]

[ Sinclair laughs, shaky but genuine as he nods]

They really do have too much pride like that...I knew that, yet, I couldn't shake the fear once it got in my head.

[ He softly exhales ]

I should destroy phone I directed all her messages to.

[dissimulative]

Yeah? I'll get you a new one! There's this new model that came out, and it's pretty sturdy too. And it's alright, Emil.

[ He laces his fingers with Sinclair's. ]

Fear is always irrational.

[insinning]

[ He smiles, relaxing a little]

...you know, it's comforting when you say that.

[ That it is irrational...but that was fine too. He links their fingers together]

A newer phone that can survive a lot would be nice.

[dissimulative]

It's true! Fear is always irrational. You can prepare yourself for it, but still freeze up when you confront it. It's not like I got over my fear of heights in a day either. Or a week. Or a month... stuff like this takes a while. And... I know this will too, but it'll eventually fade over time.

You've gotten better at facing forward, so I know you can come through.

[insinning]

[ Ah. Sinclair swallows again, and he leans over to press his lips to Oria's cheek in gratitude. Each word feels like a balm to his heart.

This too shall pass.]

If you can believe in me... then so can I.

[dissimulative]

I will always believe in you, Emil.

[ He smiles at him. ]

Because you're actually a stronger person than you think you are.

[insinning]

Oria...

[ He wipes at his eyes again, shaking his head. That's the part he struggles to believe. Is he strong? He's not sure. Even so]

... still. I'm glad you do.

[Because Sinclair can buoy himself through that simple faith alone]

[dissimulative]

You know that I'm not the type to blindly believe in things. You've shown me things that can back my belief, so... I hope you can believe in yourself as much as I believe in you someday.

[ The traffic is gradually letting up, so Oria focuses his sights on the road. However, the hand stays in Sinclair's, holding onto it tightly just like before. ]

[insinning]

[ Sinclair rubs his thumb over the back of Oria's hand, taking comfort in it. If Oria doesn't need his hand back immediately, then he'll hang onto it for as long as he can]

That's why your belief is so important to me. [ His smile softens, and the lump in his throat loosens]

... I'll keep trying.

[dissimulative]

I know you will.

[ Sinclair can have Oria's hand throughout the entire drive. If anything, Oria doesn't seem too keen on letting go.

...

Oria wonders if Sinclair got to say everything that he wanted, but tries to shelf the thought as he finally drives through an unclogged highway. ]

[insinning]

[ Sinclair watches the traffic finally clear up and he squeezes Oria's hand again just to reassure himself. He's quiet for a moment before he has to ask]

...won't it bother you if I suddenly need to call you at a terrible hour when I return to Seattle?

[dissimulative]

You say that like I'll actually be bothered. Even if I'm sleeping, it won't bother me if you're calling.

[ Straight up. No lies. Oria sounds extremely convicted in his answer. ]

[insinning]

[Oh. The warmth and relief from Sinclair is palpable. He wont question Oria's convictions. It is an unfortunate truth that most of Sinclair's worries come to the forefront at terrible times of the night...Honestly, he got trained into 3am texting conversations with Justy]

You'll get sleep deprived. [Like Sinclair]

[dissimulative]

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be just a phone call away. I can adjust my schedule accordingly anyway. It's not a hassle and it will never be.

[ Also because he can trust Sinclair to be reasonable. Late night bad thoughts is normal and Oria thinks he can take it. ]